Here are some basic things to help you self-differentiate and to grow a healthier you:

1. Calm your own anxiety. The more anxiety you carry the less solid self you have. Anxiety is typically contagious in family and marriages. Learning to calm yourself is a big step in the right direction to building a solid self.

2. Own your own attitudes. If you need an attitude adjustment then give yourself one. And if you can’t give yourself one, ask for help.

3. Become comfortable with disagreements. To disagree with your spouse is healthy and normal. But disconnecting because your spouse doesn’t agree with you, disrupts a healthy self and a healthy union. Question if being right is worth breaking the connection.

4. Develop your spiritual maturity. God repeatedly says, “Don’t be afraid” or “Be anxious for nothing.” Relax into His love for you. Christian spiritual maturity is the foundation for a healthy self

Read More

Being rooted in Christ is the only way to create a healthy self. Our worth is found in Him and, as His child, our value and worth are established and confirmed. Growing a healthy self is how we are able to connect and attach to one another. Jesus said, “love others as well as you love yourself” (Mark 12:31). The truth is, you will only allow the amount of love in that you have for yourself. I am not talking about a narcissistic, destructive self-love, I am talking about loving yourself so you have the ability to love others and receive the love they have for you.

Life is to be lived by actively responding to God’s invitation to live our own story. We are not designed to passively stand on the outside of ourselves looking in, hoping and waiting for things to change. God wants us to take responsibility for the life He gives us and, with Him, become the healthy person He designed us to be. Becoming a healthy self is when you start living from the inside out. You own your own emotions, behaviors, and attitudes

Read More